Here and now,  Mental Health and Eternal Grief

Growth trajectory

I have spent a large portion of my life taking care of others needs.  Typically over my own.  Towards the middle of 2018, I decided that I just could not keep up with that anymore.  It was draining me and I could not keep up with the outtake of my energy.

By the end of 2018 I had tightened my circle some more. Those who know and love me, respect that I crave space.  And that space has to be full of good energy in order to combat my own darker thoughts and hard moments.  

The people in my life who were no longer having their negative energy validated, really took offense to that.  It’s disheartening to confirm that their need of me was exclusively to feed their own desires.  That there was never a space where we could be a positive and renewable source in each others lives.  There was no reciprocation in those relationships. 

In 2019, I wish to continue weeding out the garden and taking out what no longer serves me in a positive way.  I have enough of my own dark energy – Hello, trauma and loss!  – I certainly do not need to take on any more.

I hope that in 2019, the only resolution you make is to yourself. Your own growth and true happiness.

Até tarde| Until later

PS. My friends – don’t be discouraged if some of the plants die in your garden while you are nurturing the ones you want to keep.  If you weren’t watering those plants, they probably weren’t something you wanted growing to begin with 😉 

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